Withdrawl

January 10, 2020

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When traumatized, our natural biological instinct is to withdraw in self protection. Yet at the same time, we have an urge to seek comfort, needing connection to a heightened degree and craving social support to hasten recovery. I sense a clear tension between that and the numbing, isolating, disabling consequences of trauma. Throughout time, when facing imminent threats or inescapable challenges, it has not served to put trust in others — and today, this human being still feels thwarted by that evolutionary block. I simultaneously don’t want to be alone and am compelled to remain as such. Despite intense sometimes-immobilizing anxiety and fear, as well as the compounding shame such emotions produce, I know it is of critical importance to be seen and loved — not only for my body and brain with clear needs, but also for others who so genuinely desire to give the gift of comfort and care, a natural synergy. Friends, I love you, I trust in your unwavering acceptance, I appreciate your ongoing presence, I feel your energies through your words and gifts — like these nourishing gems that arrived on my doorstep from blessed humans: homemade seasonal soups, chia pudding, fresh-pressed green juice, vegan cheese and butter, superfood powders and vegan ice cream, of course (all organic, all plant-based, all in glass and paper!). I promise that I am trying with everything I have to open myself to your hearts, help, kindness, support, generosity and faces. 🙏🏾 Shabbat shalom.

Read more of my journey here.