Withdrawl
January 10, 2020

When traumatized, our natural biological instinct is to withdraw in self protection. Yet at the same time, we have an urge to seek comfort, needing connection to a heightened degree and craving social support to hasten recovery. I sense a clear tension between that and the numbing, isolating, disabling consequences of trauma. Throughout time, when facing imminent threats or inescapable challenges, it has not served to put trust in others — and today, this human being still feels thwarted by that evolutionary block. I simultaneously don’t want to be alone and am compelled to remain as such. Despite intense sometimes-immobilizing anxiety and fear, as well as the compounding shame such emotions produce, I know it is of critical importance to be seen and loved — not only for my body and brain with clear needs, but also for others who so genuinely desire to give the gift of comfort and care, a natural synergy. Friends, I love you, I trust in your unwavering acceptance, I appreciate your ongoing presence, I feel your energies through your words and gifts — like these nourishing gems that arrived on my doorstep from blessed humans: homemade seasonal soups, chia pudding, fresh-pressed green juice, vegan cheese and butter, superfood powders and vegan ice cream, of course (all organic, all plant-based, all in glass and paper!). I promise that I am trying with everything I have to open myself to your hearts, help, kindness, support, generosity and faces. 🙏🏾 Shabbat shalom.