Grateful To Feel Seen
November 11th, 2019
I feel loved, seen, moved to tears — and that is a gift beyond measure. While I don’t have a specific answer to the question so many ask about HOW you can best support or help me right now, please simply be present, reach out, keep offering, comment (silly as it sounds), stay the course, stay in touch, stay tuned. This recovery journey is impossibly difficult physically and mentally. Your words, responses and heart mean the world to a woman who is hurting deeply.
And in the name of honest communication — a few words for those who have felt the need to pass judgment or badger, even with good intentions. Please know that all of this is said from a place of immense love and unwavering gratitude:
– Yes, I began psych/trauma treatment long ago and continue with heightened neurological focus and various teams of expert doctors and methods.
– No, I will not stop writing or sharing, both for myself and as a part of various therapies. If you don’t think I should be doing so, simply don’t read it.
– Yes, I am open to advice, wisdom, suggestions. I benefit greatly from that which I seek out OR ideas that arrive unsolicited. Keep it coming!
– No, I do not NEED to do anything. Forceful repetition or guilt trips will not bring me any closer to listening to what may be worthwhile information.
– Yes, I am aware recovery will be painstakingly long and unfold at its own often-infuriating pace. If doctors/I can’t predict readiness, you certainly cannot from afar!
– No, the miracle techniques that worked for a friend’s friend or you found online doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a good fit for me. Share with realistic expectations.
– Yes, I have said things which contradict each other throughout this ever-shifting healing process. I am faced with contradictory medical information daily.
– No, you don’t know anything close to the full picture, because I don’t disclose even a fraction of what I am doing or learning, and even that is far from complete.
Also, kindly don’t say things ABOUT me that you wouldn’t say TO me. I have received too many forwarded emails where people forgot to delete the thread below or accidental texts that use harsh, derogatory, judgmental and/or inaccurate labels and refer to me as an object, rather than a human being who is very much conscious and alive, albeit traumatized, injured, in recovery.
You can always always write to me, even ask questions respectfully. And do send photos, voicenotes, memes, flowers, videos, playlists, books, care packages, links, vegan food deliveries, even simple emojis, all of which I appreciate, nourish me, enhance connection and lift my spirits!
Finally, I love you.