Finding What I Was Seeking
December 5th, 2019
I have literally seen dozens of doctors and medical professionals since my accident — neurologists and reconstructive surgeons, dentists and psychiatrists, endodontists and naturopaths, oral surgeons and acupuncturists, ophthalmologists and otolaryngologists (ENTs), radiologists and prosthodontists, physicians and dermatologists, therapists and periodontists, herbalists and plastic surgeons, osteopaths and psychologists, mental health experts and healers, dietitians and speech-language pathologists, and many many more, with additional yet to come. Finding the right fit for each field is an arduous, confusing, painstaking, time-consuming, frustrating, often infuriating process. Throughout all aspects of this medical journey, I seek a balance between traditional and integrative, recognizing the phenomenal benefits of modern medical advances and tremendous value of alternative approaches side by side for comprehensive care.
A good match in the realm of psychiatry has taken me a particularly long time — because I need someone with whom I not only feel completely safe, comfortable and trusting, but also with experience in or sensitivity to handling trauma, to better manage and treat the myriad of challenges I continue to face day to day. I received numerous recommendations, exchanged countless emails, spoke with many via phone for initial consultations, met with a number in person, but had not found what I was seeking — until now, or so I think. I cannot be certain, second-guess myself with this decision (as with far too many choices in this new doubt-filled traumatized mind of mine), and am not sure I can put into words precisely what we ‘do’ or have ‘accomplished’ in our various sessions, but I know this: I feel invited to share authentically, I feel supported without pressure, and never once have I been made to feel as if he is judging my emotions or realities, projecting upon me in any way, or trying to fix a broken patient — rather, we are exactly who and where we belong, learning and growing together as active participants and wise guides on this path of healing.