A Simple Thank You

November 3rd, 2019

I feel like a 16-wheeler slammed straight into my face (and look the part as well!), even with painkillers at full dosage and multiple rotating ice packs post-surgery. Still, I want to say a simple thank you to my body. This miracle vessel hasn’t missed a single heart beat, not one breath, no systems shutdown since the accident on through unexpected complications and multiple operations, all while working overtime to heal a myriad of disparate, yet interconnected serious ailments. My body and brain are worthy of gratitude, praise and kindness, even amid the darkness, hardship, fallbacks and hurt, perhaps especially at these most trying of moments. Although the bad is still outweighing, outlasting and outmaneuvering the good, that has to shift one day, right?! And while fleeting, glimmers of positivity and respites from misery are blessedly arriving more frequently with greater power and staying just a bit longer. I may not be able to lift my head amid excruciating facial pain, stand without blackout dizzy spells or speak comprehensibly through extreme swelling of the mouth, but doctors say that all should begin to improve in the coming days or weeks, which will hopefully increase functionality and range of motion, alongside ongoing speech and other therapies.

Needless to say, this woman is going nowhere fast, with post-op surgical appointments, additional oral procedures, brain trauma assessments, and more medical necessities of this never-ending ordeal. So Los Angeles is the place for the near future, for those who keep inquiring about my whereabouts for care packages or visits. Snail mail and deliveries of love are always welcome, visitors not quite yet, though that day may be getting closer. Til then, me and the face and brain with which I am getting reacquainted will be attempting to eat pureed foods, get through simple daily practices, test out different combinations of medicines, and maybe even find something on a dimly lit screen that can hold my attention and distract from the pain.

Read more of my journey here. 

© 2020 Erin Schrode. About Erin. Contact.

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