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Teeny Tiny Bit Better

March 16, 2020

Why do I feel a teeny tiny bit better tonight? The worst is still yet to come, unfathomable yet certain degrees of death and devastation — but the fact that at least some concrete steps have been taken, in what I see as the right direction to combat the vicious Coronavirus outbreak, gives me a sense of hope. I think back to the days after my accident, when I was blindly navigating a terrifying medical journey and impossible decision-making process. The most psychologically draining times were those in which I felt hopeless and helpless, as if no one heard my cries, understood the complexity, responded appropriately, prepared accordingly, took it seriously or acted decisively. When I had not yet found the right person to lead care, a trusted professional, someone to guide my next steps with expertise, composure, resources and intelligence, the risk to my physical and psychological health increased as I waited anxiously in peril.


But when I had confidence in the person steering the ship — regardless of how little either of us knew about the topic, trajectory or prognosis — I was able to focus on finding what I could control, pragmatic action steps, and sensible preparations, even if that meant facing surefire agony, violent tumult, painful regression and innumerable variables. Knowledge is not only power, but also a powerful stabilizer. I felt infinitely better in simply knowing that someone with skillsets, access, connections and command far beyond my own had my best interests at heart, while making choices in the name of health, safety and full recovery, whatever that may look like and whenever it may arise. 


I had faith. And even one iota of faith could carry me through unthinkable darkness.


In the face of this international crisis, people are rising as leaders. Community leaders. Local leaders. Education leaders. Business leaders. Elected leaders. Tech leaders. Gubernatorial leaders. Medical leaders. Actions are being taken. Norms are changing. Behavior is shifting. To protect lives, families, livelihoods, economies, societies.


So yes, this tragic situation will get unimaginably worse locally and globally. But with leadership and faith, amid tremendous loss and upheaval, ‘we’ as a collective will somehow make it through — at least from my current state of mind tonight.

Read more of my journey here
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